Tag: Healing

Quarantine Glow Up: God Heals

Categories encouragement, Faith, Healing, hope, tips, Uncategorized2 Comments on Quarantine Glow Up: God Heals

This is a picture from a photo shoot I did with my friend Athena right before the Covid-19 quarantine became increasingly strict. 

We had done a previous photo shoot together almost exactly this time last year and somehow; despite all of the madness going on in the world right now, there was a distinct sense of peace over our shoot this time.

“Girl, I just feel different this time.  I feel really good; just like settled,” I told her.

She laughed and said, “it’s probably because you’re so well rested because there’s nothing else to do!”

This could be the case.  While some of us are working during this time like nothing happened, that’s not my story and it’s not many other people’s story; all of the work and projects I had booked are postponed until further notice. 

So, what to do?  There’s a lot of things we can focus on during this time.  I see lots of people talking about their #quarantineglowup in a physical sense and I am all for that. 

I am always an advocate of trying to look our best and if we’re privileged enough to have the luxury, why not use this time to jump even deeper into our beauty, wellness and fitness regimes since time allows for it.        

But there’s another glow up that is worthy of our focus as well; a spiritual one. 

I was praying last night about some deep stuff; stuff from like playground years.  The kind of stuff you know you should get to the bottom of but it’s always super hard, annoying and painful to go there. 

Frankly, it’s something I am irritated that I’ve had to seek such constant healing about over the years and I struggle to get to where I feel totally at peace with it.  I don’t like the process; it’s uncomfortable, ugly and painful. 

Last night through a very simple conversation with God, he dropped something new into my spirit about the situation that was seemingly small but somehow brought me to new dimensions of understanding…it brought a significant level of new healing. 

I realized that this isn’t meant to quick.  It’s meant to be a process and sometimes it’s going to look worse before it looks better. 

This idea of “worse before better” can be like what it is like when we go to an actual spa.

I think we can all agree that most beauty treatments have us looking pretty crazy mid-way through. 

When we’re getting scrubbed down and exfoliated our skin looks red, splotchy and irritated but that is the process it takes to remove the dead skin cells to reveal fresh, soft and glowing skin.

When we’re in the process of getting a pedicure, our feet look like we’ve been kicking bricks as we sit there, polish free and mid-callous removal.

When we get our hair colored, we spend a big chunk of the time looking like aliens with aluminum foil protruding from our heads like futuristic antennas.

Not only do we look way less glamorous than we are used to; sometimes we are also more open and susceptible to harm during these times of extreme beauty renovation.

I remember when I used to go to this infrared sauna placed in Hollywood and they would tell me after each session to be careful because at this time my pores were super open.

Due to this, my skin would be more prone to ingesting toxins in the environment, the dirt, the pollution and anything I let get close to my skin while my pores were so open.   

Likewise, spiritually when we’re going through this process, we are open and exposed.  I’ve learned that Jesus is literally the perfect person to know what to do with us in these moments and we can trust Him in our uncomfortable and vulnerable state.         

Just like all my girls know, lotion never applies as smooth and skin never radiates as brightly as it does after you properly exfoliate, steam and apply a mask. 

Similarly, spiritually, as you go through the intensive and often lengthy process of opening up and getting brutally honest with God you begin to enjoy the glow that only all of the time spent deliberately surrendering to that process can produce.    

And the same way that a nail spot won’t charge you and throw you out into the streets mid-manicure in your unfinished state; God won’t do that either.

“And I am certain that God, who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). 

He’s patient with us and walks with us through our entire process until it is complete.    

All of the hair and nail salons may be closed right now but the spiritual spa is always open and the owner is always available throughout the day and into all hours of the night.  He is a gentleman and if you come close to Him, He will come close to you (James 4:8).    

This may not get you the blatantly obvious Instagram-type glow up gains but the gains earned will be gains where it’s most important. The benefits will far exceed any likes on social media.

xoxo,

Danielle

Five tips for approaching and getting to know the girl who seems like she doesn’t need a man

Categories Dating, Healing, relationships, Singleness, tips, UncategorizedLeave a Comment on Five tips for approaching and getting to know the girl who seems like she doesn’t need a man
Southworth Ferry on a trip to Seattle, October 2014.

“Some guys look at a girl who seems to have everything together and think ‘where would I fit in?’  For a lot of guys that can be intimidating.”

This is only one comment from a series of recent conversations I’ve had with male friends echoing the general sentiments about feeling like they can’t win with women. 

It hurts my heart to see decent men frustrated and discouraged and with this post I hope to empower and encourage.  The following are my tips and my own unique perspective on this topic through the eyes of a girl who seems like she doesn’t need a man. 

  1. Know that when you approach her she most likely views you as an annoyance and a distraction.  This is less likely to be the case if she got to know you gradually over time in a neutral environment such as work, through a friend or common interest group of some sort.  However, if you are cold approaching her, know this is likely what she is thinking.  I’m not condoning this mindset and on behalf of my own missteps and for every stank-eye you’ve ever received, I am sorry.  A woman may genuinely just not currently be in the right headspace to get to know a man for various reasons or may simply not be interested in you specifically.  When I’ve felt this way it is usually because I interpreted the man’s approach as a demand on my time, energy, body, mind and heart; all things I hold closely and when you’re in a good place, it can feel like adding someone new into the mix could be a potential threat to all of those things.   
  2. But be honest with yourself: do you bring with you a lot of unresolved tendencies that could actually translate into unnecessary trouble for her?  We are all a work in progress and she’s definitely not perfect whatsoever but reflect on where you are: do you have boundaries, standards, passions and purposes of your own?  Do you have a healthy degree of self-awareness and willingness to work through your own weaknesses?  Are your intentions towards her as just a fellow human being good?  If you’ve reflected on these points and you have a reasonable level of confidence, be brave and go for it.  In the initial approach just be self-assured and don’t overthink it too much; just treat her like a person.   
  3. Don’t worry about putting on a show, just focus on bringing value.  If this girl has been on her own for a while, takes care of herself and has a full and vibrant life I can imagine that a man may wonder if there’s any space for him.  She may be perfectly content on her own but there’s one thing that she for sure doesn’t have; you.  This is an invitation to dig deeper.  Everyone has blind spots and things that can only be ignited in them through interacting with another person.  This will be different for every woman but examples of bringing value could be:  you have a different point of view from hers; bring it to the table.  Gently challenge her to expand her mind and think in a way she previously hadn’t.  Be an active part of her growth.  Help her in practical ways and encourage her towards her goals.  Welcome her to bounce ideas off of you and allow your masculine perspective to be a resource available to her as she navigates situations.  Be an asset and not a liability in her life.  Also allow yourself to open up enough to accept and enjoy reciprocity as it will likely be her desire to add value to your life as well.
  4. Be flexible but maintain your backbone.  She most likely is a genuinely busy person so your respect of her time and schedule will mean the world to her.  She may be working through subconscious defense mechanisms or old patterns and that may require patience and understanding on your part as you build mutual trust.  However, don’t allow her busyness to be an excuse for flakiness or her working through her issues to be an excuse for a lack of control over her emotions.  A sign she is in a healthy place to get to know you will be her possessing a collaborative partner-type mentality coming from a place of humility where she will actively seek to understand things from your point of view.  You will sense that your preferences and feelings are not only important to her but openly embraced and welcomed at the table. 
  5. Be patient, go slowly and don’t take things personally.  If for example you offer help with something and she’s hesitant or refuses to accept, don’t take it as rejection.  Accepting help from someone is an act of vulnerability because “what if he doesn’t come through?”  Again, allow that mutual trust to build and see if she is more receptive to what you offer and in going to a deeper level with you.  Going slow is for your sake too; your time and heart are worthy.         

Truth be told, just because a woman can function without a man doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want one.  Men, I hope these words have helped to dismantle the lies that you are disposable, unnecessary afterthoughts and have been replaced with the truths that you are valuable, important and yes, you are wanted.