It’s an interesting time for almost everyone right now and perhaps a particularly unique time to be single. 

In times like this, sometimes it can feel kind of like you’re just floating in the world and there can be a temptation to relax your standards or entertain things you normally wouldn’t. 

It’s kind of like how it feels senior year during finals week when you have completed all your exams but you still have to go to school.  Behavior is lax because “it’s not like it’s a ‘real’ school week.” 

The same way it feels like what’s happening in the world isn’t quite real.

A few times in quarantine I’ve found myself mentally entertaining scenarios that I normally would shut down immediately and not even explore. For a split second the “but God, it’s not a real school week” mentality invaded my consciousness.

I think it’s the uncomfortable stagnancy of the present and the ambiguity of the future that can allow us to forget about the big picture.    

This post is for anyone who is feeling pulled in directions they know they shouldn’t go and under normal circumstances wouldn’t even have the desire to go. 

My hope is that it will encourage you to focus back on the path and to remind you that the decisions we make in our love lives now hold just as much weight as ever and to empower you to make the right ones for your future, even now. 

Today I was on my daily walk and a verse from Proverbs randomly popped into my head:

“She brings him good, not harm all of the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12).

This verse is essentially explaining some of the qualities of a good wife.

Immediately after the verse popped into my head, I heard the words “that doesn’t have to start when you meet the person, that can be right now.”

“ALL of the days of her life.” 

Even these days.  These groundhog days.  These endless hours of whatever-you-choose-to-fill-them-with days.

The decisions we make now are just as important now as any other time.  Are we making decisions right now that will ultimately bring our future husbands or wives good and not harm all of the days of their lives?

Right now, it may feel okay to entertain that random text message or let that person come over because times are strange but how will this affect the very thing you’ve been having faith for; for possibly years now?

Hebrews 11:1 Defines faith as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

In this season it feels like a lot of things are unknown and unseen but as always, the only person I can control is me.  I can’t control God’s timing or if He has someone for me or not and let’s be real; in life that’s not a guarantee or a promise, period. 

In my situation, I believe that God does have someone for me but even if it doesn’t happen, my intention is that I live a life where I set myself up in the best position to receive the love I desire and make proactive choices to get there. 

It is important to me that my heart position is pure; to wait for the right man and to set my life up even in singleness in a way that I am a blessing to Him when our paths do cross.  This is not passively waiting. This is action-based and I like that.    

Like any other dream, you do what you know to do, don’t give up and continue working towards it in faith. 

Whatever this means for you in your own particular situation, you know.

Perhaps the most common barrier is the concept that the seat next to you can’t be open for the right person if it’s being occupied by the wrong person; whether that means you’re actually physically with someone you know in your heart isn’t the right one or someone is inappropriately taking up so much space in your thoughts that you might as well be with them.

I know no one wants to hear that but I’m not telling you something I haven’t personally gone through myself and if you need help walking away from someone or something feel free to message me and I’m happy to listen and encourage you through it.   

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that better exists in a culture where we’re bombarded with examples that show hook-ups, short attention spans and fickleness as the norm.  But those are lies.

I remember when I was in the heights of my experimental days and I was making super interesting choices in my love life. 

My mom would tell me, “Danielle, you can do so much better.” 

I would respond, “okay, show me better then!” 

I had lost hope that better existed and on top of that I was impatient so it was easy to settle in my heart that what I was coming across was all there was and accept almost any kind of treatment.

However, I have witnessed that there are still plenty of people out there who desire and are ready to build a healthy, fun, flourishing and life-giving relationship and are happy to commit to work to continue to growing that connection in marriage. 

If you start to doubt this, consider any real-life examples you know of healthy (but of course not perfect) couples and cling tightly to those and don’t let go.

It doesn’t matter if it’s 2020 and the general consensus is that this type of love doesn’t exist anymore.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and He is still all about relationships that take place within the safe and supportive environment of lifelong commitment.  

He, himself is a God of honesty, of loyalty, of covenant.  He knows what you need in every season of your life.  Pandemic or not, it’s still okay to be bold, counter-cultural and crazy enough to trust Him completely with your love life.    

xoxo ❤

Danielle