The end of 2019 is rapidly approaching and I am, as I assume many of us are, reflecting on this past year; the struggles and the triumphs. As I take inventory and put everything from this year into perspective, one thing I realize I want to leave behind in 2019 are all of my limiting beliefs.
A limiting belief is a restrictive thought or idea that we accept as truth which holds us down and can cripple us in our efforts to achieve all that we are meant to. Limiting beliefs are often formed through past experiences and can feel extremely difficult to overcome.
Here I will share two limiting beliefs I have identified in my own life and two ways I am purging them from my system. The examples I chose to share here are intentionally drawn from light-hearted experiences; my objective with this isn’t to dive deep into my and other people’s more disturbing past personal traumas but instead just to show that even these innocent and seemingly insignificant examples still produced powerful limiting beliefs; so how much greater are the effects of the darker experiences we’ve had? God help us to heal from all of the experiences which have hindered us, whether big or small.
Two of my limiting beliefs:
“It’s okay for everyone else to step out and go for it…but not you”
I can vividly recall an experience at my friend’s 5th birthday party where there was a clown giving out balloon animals. The clown was going down the rows of children and distributing the balloons to each child in the order we were sitting in but at a certain point kids just started jumping up randomly and taking other kid’s balloons before it was their turn. The clown and everyone else laughed as each of these kids intercepted the kid who should have been next. After 2 or 3 kids jumped up and received their balloons before their rightful turn, I thought it would be fun to join in. I jumped up and expected to receive a balloon and also the laughs just as the children before me had. However, by the time I hopped up, the clown was over it and sternly said to me, “okay now that’s enough, sit down” and refused to give me a balloon until the end. So instead of the light-hearted response the other kids had received, when I stepped out I was met with a harsh response and I had no context to understand why but the message that was firmly implanted in my head was “it’s okay for everyone else to step out and go for it…but not you.”
“You aren’t allowed to win or outshine others”
I remember as a little girl I enjoyed running; and I was fast! I was so fast that I actually took home the ribbon for winning first place in the race portion during our Field Day activities my first grade year. I remember I knew I was a good runner and I was proud of that and unafraid to give it my all during the race. However, after I won the race that day, I remember something unexpected happened. Instead of feeling excited and accomplished, I remember an intense feeling of guilt washed over me. While I don’t remember if there were specific words that were spoken to me to put me down, I do just remember feeling extremely ashamed that I won. I felt that by my achievement, I was indirectly communicating to the other kids that I felt I was somehow better than them and that made me feel discomfort due to the fact that I had overshadowed them. The belief that was formed around that experience was “you aren’t allowed to win or outshine others.” When I got a little older and began pursuing acting I carried this mindset into audition situations even having the conscious thought that I would almost prefer someone else to get a role instead of me because if I beat them, I didn’t want them to feel inadequate. I actively fought against my conflicting desire to want to book things and my strange inclination to feel more comfortable loosing to someone else so I wouldn’t make them “feel bad” or so they wouldn’t secretly dislike me for winning something over them.
So how am I washing away these limiting beliefs?
1. Re-examining past situations.
It has helped me to pick apart the situations of the past as an adult in the present day, looking at them and explaining them back to myself and seeing the reality of the situation; what happened and what it actually meant. That clown wasn’t trying to single me out but was just likely frustrated and trying to maintain order and do his job to the best of his ability. The kids who lost to me in the Field Day Race may have felt disappointed but that doesn’t change the fact that I earned the win that day; fair and square. There was nothing to feel bad or ashamed of.
2. Holding my limiting beliefs up against the word of God.
After I became a believer and I learned about all of the promises of God: God has a plan for us and His plans for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11), He can strengthen us (Philippians 4:13), He gives us new chances every day (Lamentations 3:22-23), He tells us to be brave and promises He will never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6) I began to realize that a lot my limited beliefs just had to go. I came to realize that this God I was beginning to know and trust is way more patient with me than I am with myself and that it’s okay to be imperfect; if I try my best and fall down, I’m encouraged to get back up. I am allowed to step out; to shine.
So, what are some of your limiting beliefs? Let’s examine them and get to the truth behind them so we can shake off the outdated lies and enter into 2020 lighter and full of a new hope for all of the beauty this new year will bring ❤
xoxo, Danielle
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